Good morning friend :)
It's 4:30AM and the alarm goes off. The first person to greet you on this Grateful Friday is you.
Were you sitting at the foot of the bed commanding you to get up, or did you wake up beside you - with you?
Were you telling yourself that it's not worth getting up and you should stay in bed?.. just another 9 minutes?
What is the spirit, the tone that you talk to yourself in? Is it positive and nurturing? Is there a metaphoric hand pulling you forward helping you up?... or is it total defeat, met with self shame like having dirt tossed at your face?.. I guess a bigger question yet, is your inner voice someone you would want to introduce to your friends and family too? We are all leading ourselves in life and I believe the inner voice is something I think often gets over looked. It can be incredibly powerful and at the same time be as lethal as a bully on the playground. It's easy to have a good voice when your bills are paid, your health is good... anyone can feel that... but what happens when when you are trying to accomplish the uncomfortable, the challenging, the overwhelming, the unknown, the depressing and painful, the vulnerable.. the.... . What keeps you going?.. I hope it's your inner voice. Some rely on people while others use faith or spiritual guidance... but all in all, your inner voice is there consulting with you at every decision... whether it's spiritual or with others.... every moment of where you are going, you are with you. There are times when life is shitty, difficult, overly challenging.. some things may feel impossible, shit, it might be entirely impossible! But if you can help make your inner voice your buddy, you can accomplish anything. Many years ago when I started real estate it was very hard for me to get out of bed. Being able to look back on it now it was a bit of depression in dealing with the new life change I think... I was new at self employment and vulnerable as hell... my identity was gone... I spent years designing beautiful and complex buildings that I loved doing.. and now, no more. Although it was my inner voice that lead me to have the confidence of making the decision to walk down that long dreary road of uncomfortable-unknowing-change.. I had arrived at my destination... what now?. Suddenly I was no longer the best at what I did, I had no clue what I was doing.... I felt like a fraud.. my actions kept me going, but my voice... So, I kept quiet inside, I didn't talk to myself much and kept my head down. I worked, I failed, I accomplished, and I failed more. The new struggle brought me down a road that separated me from me. Once the day got underway I would pass myself now and again and the self-talk wasn't as bad as it is in the mornings... but it wasn't like where we were before.
I need to note, nothing was dire for me, just not as leading and nurturing as it had been in the past.. more disrespectful, doubtful self talk . There are some whom I know that struggle a greater level of self talk than I... and my heart goes out to them. <3
Somewhere in the quiet moments of weeks / months that followed I decided to make a change.
I was going to take control of my life by leading my inner voice... by example...
This may sound like an oxymoron, but for me, that's how it felt.
It's strange, but when I felt down in life or with myself, I looked at my surroundings, primarily my own language, my posture... It wasn't as good as it could be. Either I was closed off, hunched over, something was awry, and I was telling myself how to treat myself not knowing it.
So... I started adjusting things when I would feel it.. Like crossing your legs too long and the body responds with an ache... My spirit would connect the dots of how I felt, that voice would have a tone. So.. just as the leg hurts, you move, you adjust. So when I was feeling like shit, defeated, stressed... I would adjust my posture, my body language. All of which surprisingly affected my spirit... In short small steps I started sending signals to my inner voice that I wasn't going to be brought down, I can do this, I will do this.. yes, this hurts, but I'm not down. I might not be able to control the situation, but I can control my attitude.. which is entirely motivated by my inner voice... I might look pissed or be quiet, but me and my buddy are going through hell and like it or not, we, are going together as I pull him along.
All of this ultimately affected my tomorrow's... I started the morning with an edge on myself.. suddenly I was up before the voice could tell me no or have a tone. In time that carried on throughout my day. As the complexities of my efforts continued and I took more control of myself, I would plan certain tasks around preconditioned body languages... I found myself taking a walk around the block before a stressful call. Walk with my head up, not in my phone, deliberate and swift. This approach, although small, made a huge difference in my spirit or influence in the conversation. In short time I was doing this all the time. I would embrace the suck like someone going through an extreme physical struggle... the face, the grit.. that shit must suck kind of suck.. but there was a twinkle of crazy, like bring it on! I. got. this.
Today I am way better at my self talk... he's more like me now. Although I have my off days now and again, I awake to him talking with me, not at me. He's turned into an accountability partner that I have with me at all times. Through this self discovery I feel consistently more authentic to who I know I am. Now when I engage with others, I listen deeper, but with a sense of unconscious ease. It might be that I'm no longer arguing with myself and have an extra hand in processing things.. I'm not sure. All I know is that adjusting my posture and body language when I felt like crap was incredibly powerful for me. I would be doing a dis-service to a friend by not sharing this life hack. It's not easy at first, but it's far easier than going to the gym every morning. :)
So tomorrow, when the alarm goes off, while your body lies in rebellion wanting to sleep longer, lead yourself up as if you were waking a small child from a long nap. Positive, gentle and with compassionate grace. :)
The sun will rise from the distant unknown casting light to the fog of uncertainty. A path will present itself.. I hope that if the inner voice is suggesting you go down one less traveled, one that's harder to see.. I hope you have the courage to listen to that voice and go against the grain. You will find yourself as you travel.
Have a grateful Friday friend :)