The Quiet Superpower
Gud morning :) I don't find myself on the social-webs much at all nowadays other than task based posting... I do however really enjoy when the universe craps in my lap with a surprise. hahaah
Unprovoked social-web stumbling's from an unknown source:
Whatever you focus your attention on will grow. Your focused attention is your superpower while here on earth. The more focused your attention, the faster the thing you're focusing on will grow. Your attention, which is where you're choosing to focus your energy, attracts all of the things that you experience in your daily life.
The combination of those words solidifies the message of wisdom found inside - at least to me.
The caveat to such a perspective is the great one liner "with great power comes great responsibility"... so goes one's level of focus. If you over focus on the wrong shit...
So I have to be mindful of how I'm unconsciously talking to myself and the universe. And lastly, for me, like an assist to a great shot, the universe delivered this to me this morning from my distant mentor, Seth Godin:
No matter what it is you’re cooking, if you put too much in the pot, it’s not going to come out as well. Very few things scale forever. The hardest moment to stop scaling our work is the moment when it’s working the best. And that’s precisely the moment when we need to have the guts to stop making it bigger.
All of this, ALL OF IT, takes me back to a casual visit with a handyman client, now turned good friend, that truly, completely, changed my life. I can only now connect the dots, but shit! damn!
It was Friday, August 13th, and I will never forget this, ever... There we are in her kitchen talking about the GUD kind of work, and in a lovingly gentle suggestion, looking at me, she says "when are you going to stop doing...?" As she is talking to me, she slightly wiggles the reverse osmosis faucet.. "I mean, I'm very happy with your install, but, when..." I'm not sure where I was in my head and my heart that day, but dammit man. damnit! as she said what she said, in feeling those words, like, really, feeling that moment! that's all I remember saying...
I was sitting down at the kitchen counter while we were talking, yet, my heart rate increased uncomfortably... I could feel myself becoming anxious. Which is not like me. I knew I was in a good, stress free place. I could be as vulnerable as I wanted to be, but why so uncomfortable? In the filled moment of anxiety I remember telling her, like specifically telling her, I love being here, I feel so comfortable with you, but right now, I can feel my heart rate increase, I feel very anxious, I can feel myself needing to focus on my breathing... but I know I'm in a good spot, you make me feel so comfortable, so I know it's not you or my environment. But that's how I feel right now. As I'm telling her how I feel - which wasn't easy, and was very off topic at the moment - I could feel the tumbling of my throat as the words came out. I wanted to cry and I wanted to explode, but I wasn't mad and I wasn't sad. It was so strange for me. Such a thing has never happened. I knew my brain understood that this was not a bad thing and I think that's why I stayed so calm.. My friend was equally calming too, so that really helped. :) Like a good friend, she poured me a glass of water picking up on whatever was going on with me. We continued in conversation as it deepened just enough to talk it through. After a short bit we needed to go on with our other daily tasks. We hugged, I said thank you and off I went feeling good about whatever just happened. Good like after a nice cry, but I wasn't crying at all. Gosh damn man... this shit is just FLOWING! through me right now! That Friday morning I had written "Be the Butterfly" .. I just now re-read it to see where the hell I was in my head that day. At that time I was in my last week of overbooked GUD work for the month of August. I had just come down from 5 real estate closings a few weeks prior and flagged 37 handyman jobs from July to the middle of August.. I was gassed both mentally and physically. I was preparing for my first ever two weeks of not doing any handyman work. It was the first time in years I had that much "no tool wearing, job scheduling, no working on my house" since the handyman idea became a reality. (it'll be 3 years in December) Turning 40 I decided to take two weeks off in celebration. I really needed to focus on me and my family. I needed to regroup, make some adjustments because I simply could not keep up. As crazy as all of this is, that "Be the Butterfly" post, I had even ended it with these final words:
"if you need someone to lean on, we're a safe place where you don't need courage to be yourself. :) "
So somewhere that faithful Friday, at my friend's house, everything was coming to head, I just didn't know it.. She gave me time in her home. She was someone I could lean on. She provided me that safe place where I didn't need the courage to be myself. Today, now months later, I have found the courage to slow the flywheel of endless opportunity down. I have had the guts to stop scaling the GUD work of dozens of simultaneous jobs and projects. In that safe place, that tender moment I had allowed myself to become so authentically vulnerable, I could feel the suggestion of
"When" starts Monday. :)
Monday is day one, of phase 1. These recent years of intentionally pounding on my craft, focusing on the small things that make the biggest difference, those efforts and experiences, leveraged by this quiet superpower, has granted the amazing opportunity to remodel an entire kitchen. :) For the first time in almost three years I can solely focus on Real Estate and One project... (okay, maybe a few small jobs that need service) hahha, but that's it. I genuinely feel so good! :) I am beyond grateful and just needed to share this with a buddy. That's all! :) I appreciate you SO!! much! :) Have a grateful weekend!