Hot damn shit! What a decade!... like really?!
This coming Tuesday, 8/31/21, my old ass will be turning 40?!
Crazy to pause a moment and look back on 10 years.. What a change. I think more of a change than when I went from 20-30.
For starters...
Avin 2011, now going on 17 and is a Junior in Highschool...
Tristan 2011, is now 11, and is in 6th grade...
Bison 2011, you sweet hole digging asshole! RIP good buddy!
It's actually kind of depressing going through pictures of the boys from 10 years ago.. I take that back, it's not kind of depressing, it really is depressing. :( damn these growing babies!!
Ten years ago this month, Chas and I were only one year into living in our rental. The home was cheaper and bigger than our first home which we lost in a short sale.
I had sold my toyota tacoma and used the equity to put the security deposit and first month's rent on the home. With the leftover $1,000, I purchased a 1990 honda accord that was starting to be on her last leg.
We were broke as a joke at that time. It would be a luxury when we would order pizza. Shit today, it's a primary food group in this house. haha
Ten years ago this month I was one year into my hospital design job. It was a fresh start for a career and I was at the forefront of my industry. I still remember this day... I was at the hospital at 3am that morning to do our site walk. Looking back at that time it was so much fun!.. I sure did have a lot less tattoos then! Baby face and baby arms!
Although Chas and I didn't have any money at that time, things were slower, and uniquely special. I'm not sure if it's the responsibility of life or the demands growing children do to the chemistry of a household.
Today we may not watch spongebob as a fam, instead, it's "hey dad, can I show you something?" .. either its sports or it's teenage perverted humor. haha!
Sometimes Tristan sneaks in to get down on the "you shouldn't be watching this action" hahah
And pizza! LOL!
Today, we no longer rent. After making difficult decisions over the past 10 years we were able to find a place to call home. Second to living at my parents house as a child, this is the longest place I have ever lived.
I drove that poor honda into the ground and let her go gracefully. Now ten years later, we have the ability to own two trucks in addition to Chas's vehicle... no more strapping shit to my car anymore! Along with that, I no longer work for someone, as we own two businesses, Real Estate and Handyman, with a third one on the way. Lord that sounds like children! hahah :)
Looking back over these ten years I would have never had guessed what the future would hold. I suppose talking to anyone, they would likely see it in the same light. Processing my life mathematically, these snapshots in time only account for 25% of my life.. and with this age increase, my bride, Chas now claims 50% of my life lived.
These ten years from 30 to now 40 haven't come without its level of extreme emotional growth.
Ironic I mention the two self employment businesses...
My Grampa would pass away August 28th of 2011... [8/28 on 8/28 | RIP Grampa] which will be exactly ten years tomorrow...
crazy connecting those dots right now... shit... I didn't realize it was literally ten exact years and here I talk about these last ten years.
My last day designing hospitals before stepping into self employment would be on 8/28. I wanted to make sure I burned the ships of temptation to motivate me to never go back to a day job, even when I really! wanted to... As my handyman business became what it is I'm oftentimes on my own with what to do on bigger things. I know he could still be here today had he not gotten sick, but today he is on greener pastures somewhere else. Although I cannot ask him questions - lord knows I want to! I'm on my own here, failing forward with him whispering in my ear and guiding my efforts as I still chart the unknown.
I would lose my high school buddy Chris in March of 2013, RIP good buddy. His eulogy would change my life. It seeded something inside my heart to step WAY outside my comfort zone. I believe his passing un-provokingly helped me find myself to know and understand I could be anything I want to. His willingness to not give a shit what people think, to not quit when things sucked, and did things because it made him happy - all gave me the courage to make difficult decisions that have led me here today.
Compound those earlier losses too that the other significant family and clients lost within the last two years... heartbreaking, life changing.
As I go down this rabbit hole in my head about the last ten years I need to remind myself that I tell this story really for me. Which I am grateful to share with a friend of course! :) But recalling the last ten years of my life is far more seriously minded than I thought it would be. It's ridiculously convenient that I have about 45% of those ten years documented here on www.GratefulMan.com grabbing at me to re-read and go though.. hahah, but I can do that later.
SO!!
Shit Josh! you philosophical asshole! LOL!
I am turning 40 next Tuesday. The first 30 years of life was all about figuring shit out. With a better understanding of life, people and family, these last ten years up to 40 have largely been blindly intentional.. much like a dog hooked on a sent... hes just moving forward not looking at where he's going. Hoping like a mother! I still have another 40-50+ years left in the tank... that puts my life at almost half full right now.
For the first time in years, shit, ten years really, I no longer worry about surviving like I did before. I didn't trust the process of life, nor was the road I was wearing on comfortable. I was often times looking behind me while I motivated myself to continue walking forward despite the discomfort.
I want these next decades ahead of me to be seen through forward eyes and not looking back. Instead, I will revisit the scars I've survived through as memories, but my attention will be forward. Not so forward that I forget where I've come from... Not so forward that I disregard the people in my life who are here because they want to be, my sweet bride, my children, my someday unborn grandchildren, token of family, friends, clients, close friends, clients who are close friends, clients who are practically family.. all have had an impact on my journey.
There's already things in motion that I'm deeply excited about. Shit that requires much more forward thinking than I have allowed myself to think about since being on my own path of self employment. Which is scary by the way!! But I'm elated! :)
Thanks for going on this ride with me!
Have a grateful weekend!
PS!!!!!!!!!!
Keep a lookout in your mailbox!! August newsletters hit the mail today!
I appreciate you!