When I wake up in the morning, I only have so much energy for that day. I only have so many words, so much patience, discipline, care, emotional capital, so on and so forth.
I believe that energy feeds more energy.. when I do something disciplined first thing in the morning, such as exercising, making my bed, tackling some kind of task, I am much more likely to sustain and ride that kind of wave throughout the day.
When I handwrite a letter to someone expressing my gratitude for them, how grateful I am for something, their idea, time - you name it.. I'm collected, grounded, patiently motivated throughout the day... sometimes almost euphoric.
That being said however, the same kind of energy can also ransack your day, wrought your spirit and leave you in a downward puddle of shit all day... sometimes that kind of shit, can last for days or weeks... shit happens - life happens.
It can be as simple as a topic about something, someone, an idea, a belief, a decision... simply talking about it can pull you into an uncontrollable undertow of thought... consuming your time, spirit... , and energy.. energy you only have so much of.
Meanwhile, all the other things out there.. the good shit, the important shit.. like your goals, your little family, children, pets, marriage, friends, yourself!... things that matter - like truly matter!... they don't get an ounce of that energy because you've burned it up on other shit.
I believe largely that this undertow comes from a level of care I have for something, something I legit give a shit about... furthermore, all of it is likely compounded by how much control I have over it.
The difficult thing is understanding, truly recognizing, what control I really have.
I can't control how people act or treat me.. I can't control what someone or some people think about my idea, the decisions I make for me or my life... or, or....
I can't control that my car has a flat tire or that the dog threw up in the middle of the night, or that we're out of toilet paper... or, or or..
I could go on and on... what a waste of energy.
At the beginning of the year a dear friend of mine sent me something that I found profound beyond measure.. she was sending it to me simply because it sounded like something I would say... regardless of how I would take what was said, it just sounded like me, but was cool nonetheless and wanted to share. :)
Sur'nuff!!.. it sounded like me..
but damn it man!
the words were exactly what I needed to hear...
I had been thinking for months about needing some kind of motivational - something.. ..something to keep me going when I wanted to not give a shit, when I was down and out of energy, when I was lonely, sad, lost, trapped in a rut - you name it.
I needed something.
As if the universe had been listening in to the quiet moments in my head...my friend sent me a simple combination of written characters that I needed to hear.
You should give a fuck.
You really should, but only about things that set your soul on fire.
Save your fucks for magical shit.
They were so moving to me that I dropped whatever other shit I was doing and started working on a presentation that would capture the weight I was feeling when I read them.
So I did.
I later had the artwork printed on a canvas and found the perfect spot for it to hang on my wall..
Just looking at this I can hear the crackle of the flames.. Depending on my mood, the hands are either victorious, reborn, resolute, aggressive in defense.. whatever I need them to be...
It reminds me of what control I have and don't have.
Magical shit to me is something worthy of my time, effort, love, ambition, desire.. something special to me.. something that reciprocates the equal capital I have to contribute back to me...
good energy begetting more good energy... reminding me to not waste energy on things I have no control over so I can retain what I have to give to those worth receiving.
As we wrap up this shit year of 2020 it's a good reminder to focus on the things we can control and not control, all while ignoring those who suggest otherwise so we have the confidence to be ourselves and be good with it.
We only have so many fucks to give.. so we might as well burn it for fuel on the magical shit that sets our soul's on fire. :)
What sets your soul on fire?
Have a grateful upcoming week!
It's Thanksgiving next week and like all years I don't post a grateful message on black Friday. Although it's been a crap year, there's a lot still to be thankful and grateful for - A LOT!. Save your ef'n energy for that kind of stuff! :)
Speaking of Thanksgiving! be sure to keep a lookout in the mail! November's newsletter :)
"Simple cocktail combos for the holidays"
Recipes with pictures are the best!!!!
Stay safe!! We're here if you need anything!