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Today I turn 37/REVISITED at 40

Good Tuesday morning to yas!! :)

I know right?!! A weekly picture that's not on a Friday... yeah... small pass considering the day and topic hahah!

Chas came into my office this morning asking if there was anything she could do for me as it was my birthday... As expected I told her, no, I'm good, but thank you :) Without missing a beat, she quickly followed up and said that I suck! and continued by giving me shit because I'm a total pain in the ass when it comes to my birthday!!... HAHA

She says either I will already buy whatever I need - when i need, or she feels compelled to have to check with me because she isn't sure I would use or like the item.

My response to her was... well, I suppose that does make sense... I mean, you are talking to a dude who has a need for a particular fork depending on what I'm eating... and, I have three different kinds of chonies I wear depending on the day's required tasks... hahah!!

I did end it by saying thank you, you can make me one of those bomb ass omelet-quesadillas if you'd like?.. she said yes and made it for me. It was stupid good :)

Then, that got me thinking... you know, I am pretty weird about shit. Some shit many don't know... So I thought, what the hell... How'bout a little throwback on a post I made when I turned 37 for the first time. When I did turn 37 for the first time it happened to be on a Friday morning three years ago. Being me, I felt that there wasn't a better time to pick on myself than that Friday morning...

The day before it took me about 12hrs sifting through all kinds pictures and content and put that post together... It was a playful fun read and I had a lot of joy picking on myself... The post is loaded with unique details about my life and other funny shit... unrovokingly it turned out to be a hit! a genuine classic hahah!

so at my own expense, on my birthday no less, I share with you a classic!

That being said however..

Before you read the classic tale below, I need to further incriminate myself.. I did not include the details of the forks and chonies... so i might as well REVISIT as those facts as the are worth noting! hahah!

And if you have not read me turning 37 for the first time, when you do, you will understand the strangeness of the forks and chonies crap I'm giving myself.

Check it!

Forks are a big deal! they have a large impact on my eating experience AND level of comfort at time of consumption... This one particular fork started it all! It's thin, nimble, gentle, but strong. It's only weighs 8 grams and is perfect for a dessert, or even better, poking food out of a tupperware, cold and fresh, straight out of the fridge... a mushroom, a piece of chicken, smothered in alfredo sauce. Chas thinks Im disgusting, but man! such a treat! If not grossing out Chas, it's also perfect for eating cake or a bomb ass dessert!

I will even put this fork back once the cooked food has been warmed to my desirable temperature! and then use a different fork thereafter.

Wait! Did you really weigh these prior to sharing!

Duh!! What would you expect?! hahah!


like a well balanced weapon from the middle ages! But instead! a weapon designed for grubbage! :) Guests have even commented on how these utensils feel in your hand.. they're damn gud!

The mass of the fork in your hand makes you feel in total command of your food experience. The hella girthy fork width ensures for damn sure that when you're tearing into a monster burrito or cutting through something stout, the fingers don't tire before your stomach is full!

You know what I'm talking about! Ain't no one got time for that shit when you're starving!

The 20 gram one is my regular go to.. it fits like a nice glove and does what it needs to.

But if I'm getting down on something I want to cut well with, burro, meat, thick bacon, or that maybe the meal is a loaded one.. like Thanksgiving or sumptn... yeah, I'm using the 27 gram one.

This would be something you could defend yourself with against an intruder. hell! it'd leave a dent if you even threw it at someone!

Yeah, that's what I want serving my mouth! hell yeah!

And lastly...



This is an even bigger deal than the fork. Although I have quite the collection, wearing the wrong kind of lower protective gear can wreck havoc on my day.

A- soft, loose and comfy - these are my sleeping britches.

B- soft, tight and supportive... perfect for the normal office day or weekend chill with a beer... my daily wearers.

C- light weight, supportive, and sweat wicking... I often feel bad for these ones... they've been known to get their fair share of punishment given the day.. but I tell you what! they are built for the grind! hahaha!

​That's it!! hahah :) I don't know what really motivated that playful kind of detail this morning... hahah! I blame Chas and her shit giving! Maybe every year on my birthday I will revisit this classic and add to like I am here. The real gem is below my signature line! Thanks for being awesome! -Josh :)


Today I turn 37 for the first time :)

Good morning good friend :)

Today, I turn 37 for the first time... :)  How cool the date too... not till I turn 100 for the first time will the date be like this... 

I fired out into the world on 08/31/81 and today is 08/31/18 :)

Only because it's Friday.. and! it being my birthday on my grateful Friday email, I figured I'd embarrass myself with pictures of my life and share things about me you've never known... short story / trivia style :) But! before any of that kicks off... I would like to think the day I was born, somewhere in the German forest this is how the morning looked.. 

​I was born in Landstuhl Germany, 8/31/81...  I was 3 weeks premature and had the cord wrapped around my neck... often my mom would say that i was "this" color of blue... when I went home I was near 5'ish pounds.. I guess I was pretty messed up.

Speaking of messed up... I was born cross eyed... I had to wear special Egon glasses... 

Thank goodness I grew out of that shit?!  holy cow! can you imagine me now! hahaha..  when I'm tired Chas can see the eye's still a bit F'ed up too... ​

Messed up more?!! My parents were going to name me Thaddeus Obediah... that would have gone over well with my crossed eye.  

If I were born a girl I would have been named Shannon. good buddy Chris Pike died in the same hospital I was born in... I got chills when I found that out.... RIP friend. 

We lived in Germany until I was about 2.... while there I bathed with these two German girls.

I somehow earned the nickname from them "baby fauf-wauf"... I have no clue what that even means..

Later in life my family would call me "snot-chu'a"... Chas still calls me snot now and again.

I respond to Jason as much as I respond to Josh.

When I was little little I named a teddy bear "love-bear-love".. why the hell I don't know... I got the bear because I was in the hospital having a procedure to remove the stricture in my urethra.. yeah.. I didn't stuter there.. . that sucked.  maybe that's why I named that bear so badly.... 

again... Chas randomly calls me love-bear-love. 

One time I was watching a tv commercial and it was a bit sad... had a sad tone song... I said with emotional passion..  "this sad is so song.. " knowing I totally messed that up, I quickly corrected myself... "this sad is so song"...  yeah... ain't never living that down.. ever.

My favorite commercial ever... Haagen Dazs... damn.. I could watch this again and again!  Avin and I would stop what we're doing just to watch this... man... please give this 59 seconds some love..​

I am right handed, kick right footed, and if riding a skateboard, I kick with my left... I'm all kinds of messed up.

Here I am messing up the toilet good! hahaah

When I was 3 my parents "got me a bike fer my ber-day"... apparently I said that insistently... 

"got a bike fer my ber-day". "got a bike fer my ber-day". "got a bike fer my ber-day". "got a bike fer my ber-day". "got a bike fer my ber-day". "got a bike fer my ber-day". "got a bike fer my ber-day".

no training wheels at 3!! I was legit!

I am the oldest of 6 kids... 

this pic is before my bro and sis were even born... my GP built that door AND hinges! 

Today I am the exact age my mom was when she had my youngest brother. damn... talk about feeling old.. 

I played pop-warner football when I was in the 7th-8th grade summer year.  I played 4 games only and had to quit because of my knee...

I grew almost 5 inches in a year and my joints didn't keep up.  That would be the only time I ever played football.  I did get the game ball all signed by my teammates at the end of the year.. that was pretty cool.

One time I needed note from a parent to give to my PE teacher so I could not participate that day... my mom wrote on the note to him, "Please excuse Josh from playing as he hurt his we-knee" inferring weenie... yeah, that was awesome.

In my 8th grade year my girlfriend and I won the schools version of the prom king and queen and were nominated as cutest couple.

I have such pervert smile! hahahah

When I started high school I was 5'-9, 130lbs... total. rail. 

When I started my senior year I was 6'1, 235lbs...

While I was in high school, I was a certified peer mediator... which means when students had issues, as upper clansmen, the administration would call me out of class and we would meet with the students to work through the problems.  It was pretty interesting. :) Ironically it's helped me in the real estate business.

I never played sports due to my bad knee... to this day I have a bag of sand under my kneecap having blown it out in my senior year.. knee cap rolls of the knee.. 

my only real sport was weight lifting... which really didn't start until my junior year sometime.

I did however manage the girls varsity soccer team my 10th and 11th grade years.  I got to go game to game with them, keep stats and help the coach however I could... it was a fun experience. I have an appreciation for soccer now because of it.

I MADE THAT #20 JACKET FIT! ... man I was such a tool! hahah.. Since I knew how to draw and build stuff I competed in the VICA program.  Vocational Industrial Clubs of America.  I've not really ever competed before, but these were the only things I had ever one.. hell, even now.

The silver was a regional win during my sophomore year for manual board drafting First gold was a regional win my junior year for manual board drafting Smaller gold was a regional for building a "chapter display" a framed window and door.  I had to draft it up and take pictures and explain what we were doing. I then had to meet a board/panel of people and shake hands and explain things futher The larger gold was for winning state for the chapter display.  This required me to find sponsors so that I could travel to Missouri and compete... It was  a lot of fun.. I wish I had taken it more seriously... like enjoyed the experience more.  But either way, it was cool :)

Almost 20 years difference... Still kinda look the same.. but today I'm 6'2ish and 265

My first car was a 1970 Camaro Z-28.... I borrowed $1500 from a loan shark I worked with and paid him back $2000 when done...   I bought it not even working with a broken engine.. and even bought it from my buddy Chis Pike whom I mentioned above.

Over my senior year I saved up to rebuild it.  Friends and I taught ourselves what the hell we were doing to pull this off.  It took so long I only drove it to school once.

Owning this car and getting into the V8 engine kicked open my entrepreneurial spirit with my first business idea.​ American V8 Mentality.. "More than just power, it's a state of mind"... I had sold/given away almost 200 decals and sent them all over the world.. as far as the UK to Australia.

I turned down an unprovoked $5,000 loan from a Medical Dr to invest into my V8 Mentality idea... I'm still ok today having walked away from it.

Chas bought me a 6 point roll cage for this Camaro during our fist Christmas together.. a buddy of mine helped me weld it up and install it.

Just a few years later I sold it to a close friend for like $2500... it was so Chas and I could pay cash for our wedding... plus we didn't have a place to put it.

I proposed to Chas sometime around midnight ish on 3/31 or was it after midnight on 4/1 april fools... hahahh! that's a standing joke. 17 years later now she's still here. haha

When Chas and I met she thought I was into dudes and was gay.... yes, you can ask her.. it's no secret she loves harassing me about it.

this was pre cell phone era.. I've not taken a better selfie ever.. haahha

The girlfriend I had before Chas, both Chas and I were in her wedding, and she was there for the birth of our youngest, Tristan.... i know weird right?! :)

After high school I almost joined the Navy.... Instead I went to a local college and perused a psychology degree.. 

That only lasted so long before I went back to my roots, I dropped that and went to a different college where I learned how to do virtual design and construction design.... 

While I was in school I was paid $100 two different times to write 10 page essays.. once graduated I never looked back until going into real estate.

When we bought our first house it had a niche in the wall.... Home depot wanted $600 for just one wall fountain... I needed 2... so I said hell with it and took my design background and built one myself.... paid damn near $1400 for it.. but I made it... it couldn't run for more than 20min before creating a massive water leak... 

Later I tried another few times building fountains... still never made one that worked without leaking everywhere..

Bumped into a biz owner who sold furniture and needed a fountain guy... in a 2 month time period I had sold 3 custom, massive fountains, costing more than all of my college education.. 2 times over... and had never made one that worked before... holy crap! time to start learning! 

​Check out more of the details on these water walls on the link below.. man, talk about cutting your teeth... they all worked by the way.. hahah!

Brilliant Water Features was born... 

The Brilliant comes from being in high school...I was one of the better students in shop class... i would be summoned by, hey, Josh BRILLiant! I need help.... 

When I'm in the shop I think everything has feelings and is alive when I'm done working... much like Toy Story... 

One time I needed a cap for a caulking gun so it wouldn't dry out... so I took an almost worn out sharpie and wrote deep into the table, bleeding its last breath out... "Thank you marker... but I need your cap"...

hahaha! that line below cap... yeah, that was it's last breath...

I also can get a little dark...  I threw this failing, expired marker in the trash can because it refused to work... it bounced out from the can.... so I did what anyone would do.  I punished it for disobeying my command. hahahH!

it stayed on the table till the end of the day... hahah...every other failed sharpie happily landed in the can thereafter... but this is how i stay entertained working in there by myself. hahaha

Favorite food is anything wrapped in a tortilla, followed by pizza, chips and salsa, and a good sammi!  I am allergic to shellfish... 

I have never had lobster.

I've never been to a concert..

the National Anthem always gives me chills

My favorite song is Resilience by As I lay Dying.... cookie monster rock.  you dont have to click on the link... AND this kind of soundtrack violin score music... man.... or this one.. I encourage you to click on this link :) damn... 

two completely different personalities from the cookie monster to violin!

My favorite instruments are the Cello, Violin and Viola...  can't decide..

My favorite quote is by Charles Dickens: 

“The whole difference between construction and creation is exactly this: that a thing constructed can only be loved after it is constructed; but a thing created is loved before it exists.”

My favorite book is Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek.. incredible! ​​I love, damn love Capri Suns!.. they are not safe around me. My favorite color is: blue with grey and or orange with black

My favorite sound is a dove "who'ing" while the subtle clank of a skimmer basket door bounces to the gentle current of the pool water..

My favorite smell is fiberglass, aircraft fuel, my shop after cutting wood & metal and exhaust from an old car ;)

My favorite curse word is the F word... all day the F word... so much passion! just never at someone... ever... just at a moment or to make something funnier ;)

I dislike exercise and love yard work... 

I would so much rather shovel rock than go camping... i do honestly enjoy shoveling rock. 

I can only go camping like every 5-7 years.... i'm unconsciously required to build everything. hahaha 

When I am in a bad mood I like to watch the Transformers movies... not #4... that makes me mad.  They made the transformer movies just for me.

My favorite Marvel Avenger is Optimus Prime... yeah, that really bothers my boys too... but, he is unquestionably the best. hahaha! 

hot damn! I'll be 38 before you're done reading this insane Friday post hahaah! That was a lot of fun actually... thank you for allowing me to share that part of my life with you.  If you have any questions to the validity of this.. be sure to hit Chas up... she can vouch for them. 

Thank you again for allowing me to make this Friday special and different. I hope you have a wonderful and a safe long weekend. :)

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