'Twas the morning of Christmas, when all through the house, I'm the only asshole up, clicking my mouse...
It's 3:15AM
I can hear my sleeping bride quietly breathe, compelling me to stay..
But my mind lies in rebellion taunting me, as if it were day,
It's now 3:53AM
and can rest no more. You'd think I'd take this Friday off
like I have before..
But I got shit to do!
and I ain't gonna wait until after four!
Good Christmas morning to you friend :)
Every year I've skipped Black Friday to give a day off to my wandering thoughts... and here it is, Friday, Christmas morning... I think the only reason I'm compelled to sit here with my thoughts is that it's the last Friday of 2020...
I'll say that again.
It's the last Friday of 2020.
2020, please take a seat.
We've had quite the year, haven't we?... I can't believe it's already here.
I'm really disappointed that we've had to have so many talks like this - you probably expected another talking to didn't you?
Before you say anything please, I have some things I need to get off my chest and clear up... don't even get me started on last week!
We had tremendous hopes for an amazing year when you started. Looking back I cannot remember welcoming a new year that had as much anticipation as the year 2000. I don't get excited much about a new year, but in truth I was looking forward to you. I remember speaking so highly of you.. and now... well, it's just a shit disappointment.
you're a disappointment.
I'm very thankful for the effort you've required of me over this year. When you started I even named my year "Sharpen your focus".. like a little goal that I'd name the year for so I could motivate myself with a unique mission.. But sadly that didn't go as planned....
Surprisingly, with as much sadness you've caused me and so many of my friends..
hell, our country..
ahem! sorry... the entire planet...
Can you see where I'm headed, 2020??..
this was not a good time for you.
What I'm trying to say is that throughout all the endless bull shit you put everyone through, you did make me work in a way I have never worked before. The demands on my life, the stresses you created, the people you took, the opportunities you gave... I could go on!.. you commanded a part of me that I haven't had to exercise before...
You gave me the courage to stand up for myself to others in a way I never have before... and at the same time, you made me rely on others in a way I never have before either.
Throughout this difficult time, as messed up as it is, I have found an identity of a person I am very proud to know. Not that I needed to find a way to be any more authentic, but you have. I feel humbled and gifted in a way not felt.
Thank you...
But...
I mean...
So.. well.
I'm not going to go through ALL the stuff again with you.. Like others we've dealt with in the past - it's just more of the same thing again and again... It's just not worth it.
What I'm trying to say 2020,
with respect, please pack your shit.
Please pack your shit and leave quietly.
I'd like you out before the kids get up
M'kay??...
If you could go ahead and do that, that'd be g'rreat...
bu-bye now.
I think 2020 would have been fired kinda like that, maybe not exactly... definitely a lot sooner! and likely with A LOT more swearing!! yeah.. definitely that!
a small side note, the outreach from last week's post about my bonus dad was incredible - far more than I could have ever anticipated. It meant a lot!... it made a lonely person feel so welcomed and loved. Thank you. <3
Aside from the demanding and troubling year, there is more than enough to be grateful for.. you just have to change your focus ;)
It's Christmas morning :) Although we can't be with you in person, please see this being as close to that as possible. Enjoy your special day with your family <3
Merry Christmas friend :) we are grateful for you.
-Josh & Chas PS.. proofing this was a real pain in the ass!... "Twas the night before Christmas" kept inserting itself at constant random!! of which made it a bitch (another rhyme! dude!) to iron out my thoughts or correct things... so forgive me! hahah Merry Christmas! :) :)
