top of page

Fatherhood was not planned

Good morning this morning!


I don't know where my life would be had it not accidentally happened... Fatherhood was not planned.

I still remember getting the call while at work.  I was walking around the parking lot that afternoon to give Chas the time she needed.

She was kind of... well, not really, she was a legit stressed out mess.

Chas called to tell me she was pregnant.  

My only response at that time was to, well... laugh. :)

I can still picture her face of crying confusion as she double checked my spirit while I responded positively-giggly.  

Thankfully she wasn't a one night stand hahah! 

We had already been married for over a year, owned a house, had a number of pets... so this was the logical step.

But!.. we did not plan it.

Turns out there was a new label on the birth control pill box:

"don't take dietary supplements - or else!"

something like that... hahah!

Sure as shit, she was. 

As they say in Jurassic Park:

Nature finds a way.

And surnuf - nature did.

For all intents and purposes, the delivery of Avin was smooth.

I remember sitting on the floor near the couch watching TV with Chas.  I told her, after tomorrow our lives will never be the same again - ever.

Knowing who I was at the time, had we waited any longer in life, I likely would have been too selfish to slow down to want to have kids.

Although unintended to procreate so quickly... I am grateful to the universe and back that he showed up.

Fatherhood changed my life.

It took me a long while to be able to entertain the idea of loving something more than Avin.  As much as Chas was, I wasn't ready to be a dad again.

Thankfully, I came to... it just took three - three/half years later with the idea of a sibling.  Insert a number of challenges throughout the additional three years on top of that, Tristan finally showed up.

Tristan was the 5th pregnancy of only having two births.  Was quite the grind getting him followed by months of bedrest.  I remember when he was being delivered, I was wearing my white DC shoes.  As Chas was pushing him out, I remember telling her I needed to "pigeon toe" my feet so the birth/afterbirth wouldn't ruin them. HAHAHAH

As much pain as she was in, she did laugh at the well timed asshole comment. :)

Fast forward a decade and a half later, Tristan wears these shoes as big giant slippers to take out the trash.  He as wittingly named them as "his birth-shoes"... 

In the famous words of my GP, and now myself: 

"if I had it to do over again"

I only wish I had been ready for more kids sooner... could have had three - shit, maybe four.  But as stated earlier - Nature calls the shots, along with a sprinkle of the universe too.

I had been threatened by my mom that I would have all girls.  I think the universe knew I took care of and treated the lady's famously... therefore the universe blessed me with boys... (so I tell myself)..

One of the greatest joys is seeing yourself in your offspring. 

Today, my gentle giant.  

The young man of few words, one of deep thought and comfortable in solitude.  Filled with generosity, immense patience, backed by caution/risk averse (gets that from his mom), with sprinkles of dark humor :)  All while having a big heart!

the hood of the hoodie says:

Don't talk to me when my hood is up

*sidenote: Avin's had this hoodie for over a year now, only while out here did we realize what it said... it only required someone to point at him, elbow the similarly aged child in the car to also look, then started laughing... the angle was perfect to read - especially for the driver! LOL

His younger sibling... 

a mechanically inclined wound-up, quick witted firecracker who has no problem commanding the center of attention.  Poised with little to no caution to risk (apparently that comes from me), he's confident, courageous, and has the willingness to try something even if it fails. All while having a big heart as well.

*the little asshole asked for his own cup of coffee?! 

His distracted parents said yes - hahahah! 

*sidenote: as we were coming home he saw an older lady sitting on a bench next to her very purple four wheeled scooter...

Tristan without missing a beat:

"Dannng!... Granny's got'a whip! shit is FIRE!

Which translates to: Wow! Grandma has a hot rod! It's awesome! 

We all were dying at the comedic brilliance of impulse - even Avin was laughing! 

Both are the yin and yang of what I would have, could have expected through parenthood. 

And I love these two bastards so much.

Like I said, it just accidentally happened... 

​and lord am I grateful for the happening. 

Merry Father's Day to all those who have been knighted by the universe to be allowed such an opportunity of love, guidance, and Fatherhood.

I have been writing this blog for a third of Avin's life and half of Tristan's life - they both know me and pictures.  Oftentimes what happens in scenic environments is a picture fight.  

Chas and I take pics then show them off to each other - all while trying to covet a weekly picture flex... 

Tristan, the confident asshole:

Psssh! I'll snap one pic that'll beat all of yours. Watch.

I'd like to say he was wrong... but damn bro.

Avin is like, nope! I take football pictures!

Tristan, all in! ..

even if it makes someone keep moving away! hahah

*I had to tell Tristan to not encroach on someone's want to watch the sunset alone. haha

These last two are the hardest to choose from.. wow​​..

He did exactly what he said he'd do.




A grateful Fathers Day to everyone! 

And a special thanks to the Mothers who made it possible. ​

22 views0 comments

Related Posts

See All


bottom of page