I heard a brilliant man say something so profound it beacons being repeated... I have listened to it so many times that I can almost recite it word for word. In an effort to feel its full weight and significance I have written it here to be shared. However, I've altered it in a way so I can recite this to myself while looking in the mirror.
I lie to myself...
I don't tell myself how things really are.
When I do this, I am in no spot to fix my problems. If I cannot fix my problems, then I am not going to improve.
I have to be truthful to myself.
I need to stop rationalizing... I need to stop making excuses... I need to stop telling myself little watered down assessments of where I'm really at..
I need to tell myself the truth!
I need to tell myself the truth so that I get where I want to go, so I can be who I want to be, be who I should be, when I do what I know I should do.
I need to pay attention to the little things, I need to implement discipline.
True and unflinching and unmitigated discipline in my life. I need to stop trying to find a sweat list solution... I need to find weaknesses to work on.
All of that will start, when I stop lying to myself.
That's when I can become who I know I should be when I tell myself the truth about where I am so I can make sure I'm in the right place... and if I'm not in the right place, I need to make changes to get myself back on the path to get there.
The path of discipline, the path of hard work,
the path of, truth.
My body and mind know when I'm not on the path.
For me, the path is an arduous mental and physical path... one that includes the often forgotten hard work of emotional fitness... All while having the patience and discipline to do so even when I just don't want to give a shit. It is the path of embracing the struggle, combating fears. It's the path of standing up for yourself and sometimes to yourself...
There's so much internal and external pressure out there to work for, towards, about, etc. In my hardcore ADHD mind, when things aren't calibrated it eats at me and wears out my spirit... much like that ball of lint in your sock you don't discover until the shoe is tied, comfortable and you're on your way. You can try and ignore it, but you know when it's happening, and ultimately you will need to stop and recalibrate.
In my own way, for me, I am in need of a recalibration.. and the best way to own it, to start to make a change, is to tell myself the truth.. then, tell a friend.
So here I am, telling a friend.
Have a grateful weekend. :)
