I think I fell asleep pretty quick last night.. largely cause I don't recall being so distracted by Chas's choice in late night TV.. hahah While sleeping I personally never happen to hear the kids come into the room - but Chas does - always. Me, I'm out like a bitch. But! if a dog gets up, wanders around, stands up in their bed, breakdances in circles then lays down.. then I'm up... or worse yet, I have heard the trickle of piss hit the carpet and it might as well be a pre throwup "alarm" that wakes you up from a dead sleep... we've all heard that. That aside, when the dogs get up, I'm up for sure... in the meantime, my sleeping beauty laying next to me... yup! she's out like a bitch!
So... there I am, out like a bitch...
Suddenly it's the random time to let our old ass dog outside (Cajun)... I let her out and rather than bitch out and lay on the couch, I stand there leaning against the counter fighting the wait. Afterwards I let her back inside. She limped back inside like an old dog would and rather than follow me to the room, she decided to lay on her bed in the living room. I figured, meh, what the hell.. if she has to piss again, she can. I'll take care of that mess when I'm gud and rested in the morning. So, I left her for the night.
My stupid ass, laying in bed, can hear her limp walking around in the living room.... down the hall and around the corner and through a closed door?! what the hell is wrong with me?... Like a mummy waking, I'm now staring at the ceiling... WTF bro.
So I get up again.
Now she's talking to me really wanting to be outside... in doing so, now the caged princesses (Padmay & Zelda)...((don't name your dogs cool names... turns out you'll realize that you named them after princesses)) (((and then they become princesses))) ((((ugh!)))).. so those pair of assholes start yammering themselves... so now I let all three outside..
I might as well piss too... so I wander to the other side of the house near my office and use the can... I'm too tired to stand for this shit.. so I take a seat... like a manly princess I guess.. hahah! The exhaust fan hums a quiet burn as the scentsy light casts a gentle "not gonna wake you" glow.. after my mind slips away I realize that I should get up before someone starts barking.
Like a responsible person, I decided to not flush.. hahah! it's just too loud for that shit. I'll take care of it in the morning... so I make it to the back door.... and... and, wait.
Meanwhile, holding the door open, I can't see shit (no contacts and it's dark) this cold breeze is up my skirt like a prom date... not cool!
Finally! - DUDE!
They all work their way in. I caged up the half-dog-brats in their hole... the princesses are not cool enough to crash in the king's quarters, so they have a kennel in the breakfast area.
side note, the kennel gate for Chas's princesses squeaks... squeaks in a way I imagine a prison door sounds like before the guard locks it...
It makes me feel better inside when they've woken my bitch ass up.. hahah
Now that Cajun is all rung out, she suddenly wants to follow me into the room... she prances her happy ass to her bed and I skimmer back into laying next to my wonderful bride.
Bison (my shop dog) now has his head/neck pinned in a way that he's snoring like someone moving a large piece of furniture on the ground, dragging it over concrete, followed by what can only be a pebble getting caught below it, screeching and grinding, hurting your teeth.. all requiring you to go backwards before forwards...
yes, that kind of sound.
I look at the clock and it reads 3:45A... I think... we'll that's pretty close to 5AM... hell with it, might as well get after it.
And here I am with no real creative thought than to tell you how my asshole dogs wont let me sleep... which has required a 1.75 hr commitment to pull off effectively. hahah!
I might have a margarita, or seven, when I get home from my gud jobs this afternoon.
Keep a lookout in the mail, an orangey-gud newsletter be in der mail fer yas! :)
Thanks for letting me laugh as I tell you my story.
Have a grateful weekend!
Tired or not, Chas and I are here if you need anything :)